Why We Don’t Remember

 

There is a gift in not remembering who we are when we are born into this lifetime; the gift is the journey.

Many of us wonder why we do not remember who we were before we were born. We wonder what it was like to be a soul without a body and what it will be like to be one again. Many of us have a strange sense that we do remember, as if we did experience a body-less existence, but we can’t quite recall the details. We may remember feeling as if we were flying, or as if we were just incredibly light and unrestricted in our movements. Still, most of us do not recall anything in detail about the time before we incarnated into a human body. There are many possible reasons for this deep forgetting, one of which is that remembering would probably impinge upon our ability to fully commit to this life. Experiencing life on earth without any memory of an alternative existence allows us to be here completely, and that is what is required in order for us to learn much of what we must learn here. Most of us are not meant to spend our time here preoccupied with concerns beyond the realm of this lifetime. Instead, it is our job to occupy our bodies and our planet with a fullness that would not be possible if we were constantly aware of another, and extremely different, realm of existence. There is no doubt that life on earth is difficult in ways that life outside of a body is not. As we modulate our energy to move into a body, our consciousness changes, and this is a necessary change. Forgetting other levels of being protects us from a confused and divided experience. Soon enough, we will be back where we started, so thinking too much about it now is a bit like being on a fascinating journey and spending the whole time thinking about going home. It is more in alignment with our purpose here to be fully present in the gift of this journey, unreservedly offering our energy to the experience we are having right now.

Offering Comfort

 

When offering comfort to somebody, their only real need is to have you be in the present moment with them.
Sometimes it is difficult to see someone we love struggling, in pain, or hurting. When this happens, we might feel like we need to be proactive and do something to ease their troubles. While others may want our help, it is important to keep in mind that we need to be sensitive to what they truly want in the moment, since it can be all too easy to get carried away and say or do more than is really needed. Allowing ourselves to let go and simply exist in the present with another person may actually provide a greater amount of comfort and support than we could ever imagine. Perhaps we can think back to a time when we were upset and needed a kind word, hug, or listening ear from someone else. As we remember these times, we might think of the gestures of kindness that were the most healing. It may have been gentle words such as “I care about you,” or the soothing presence of someone holding us and not expecting anything that were the most consoling. When we are able to go back to these times it becomes easier for us to keep in mind that giving advice or saying more than is really necessary is not always reassuring. What is truly comforting for another is not having someone try to fix them or their problems, but to just be there for them. Should we begin to feel the urge arise to offer advice or repair a situation, we can take a few deep breaths, let the impulse pass, and bring our attention back to the present. Even though we may want to do more, we do not have to do anything other than this to be a good friend. The more we are attuned to what our loved ones are feeling, the more capable we are of truly giving what is and best for them in their hour of need. Keeping things simple helps us give the part of ourselves that is capable of the greatest amount of compassion—open ears and understanding heart.

6 Definite Signs you’re Friends with Someone who Doesn’t Value You

Friendships are like romantic relationships. They require the same amount of respect, attention, and love for them to work. However, we often talk about romance and dismiss the fact that friendships are equally vital and needed.

Because we have little awareness of the qualities of a good friend, we might become friends with people who don’t truly respect and value us. Even if we think they do, if we look closer to their actions and behaviours, we might actually discover they’re not who we think they are.

Now I know that no one’s perfect, and we can’t possibly tick all the right boxes. We all lead busy lives and struggle with many personal issues that sometimes take a heavy toll on us. However, there are some behaviours that go beyond busyness or a few simple mishaps.

I’ve had my share of friends who are inauthentic and occasionally fake. The presence of genuine friends in my life have taught me so much about those who aren’t. And trust me, I know how tough it is to be aware of our filters. It’s challenging and downright painful to finally choose to see someone as they are. The truth might surprise us—maybe even hurt us.

Nevertheless, the longer we keep one-sided friendships in our lives, the more they might impact our mental and emotional health.

Here are six obvious warning signs that a friend might not be right for us:

1. They don’t reciprocate your efforts. Maybe you keep inviting them to your place, but they never invite you back to theirs. Maybe they don’t reciprocate your kindness or thoughtfulness. Maybe you listen to all their problems, but they never listen to yours. Maybe you always get them presents, but they never return the gesture. The point is you feel the friendship is unbalanced and you’re more invested than the other person in it.

2. They’re opportunists. If you have access to an opportunity that might benefit them, they will dive in headfirst without assessing the consequences. They might even be pushy and not consider your boundaries or thoughts. They’d do anything to get what they want. So beware of people who take advantage of you. You never know what someone’s really thinking until you see their destructive actions at play.

3. They contact you when they need something. We might get excited to see a new message from them, but the moment we read the message, we might be disappointed to know they have reached out only because they need something from us. Genuine friends never do this.

4. They don’t respect your boundaries. When a friend violates the boundaries they know you have, it’s a sign of disrespect. No matter how close you are or how long you’ve known each other, good friends who respect you would never cross the line.

5. They’re selfish. We’re all a little selfish, and that’s okay. However, a friend who constantly does what makes them happy and comfortable without taking your own needs into account is surely not the friend you want in your life.

6. They’re controlling. A controlling friend is someone who doesn’t respect our choices. They might control our plans, dating life, social life, and even our own thoughts and emotions. Saying no to them could seriously upset them, so we might find ourselves agreeing to everything for fear of losing them.

If you find yourself in a friendship you don’t deserve or that’s continuously impacting your self-worth, don’t be afraid to set clear boundaries. And if the other party still doesn’t respect you or exhibits behaviours that don’t align with your values, please love yourself enough to leave or communicate your needs.

Pat Savage 

Good Vibrations

 

As we seek soothing and harmonizing sounds to surround us, we perform an act of energetic self-healing.

Everything in the universe is in a constant state of vibration, including our bodies. Sound is vibration that can be translated by the delicate structures of our inner ear, but it moves more than just those tiny receptors. It is part of the spectrum of energetic vibrations that affect us on the mental, physical, and spiritual levels. Long ago, shamans recognized the power of sound when they first used chants and drumming to heal people. In ancient Egypt, Greece, and India, the use of sound and music for healing was a highly developed sacred science. Sonic vibration has been one way of experiencing the energy of the universe for much of humanity’s history.

When the vibrations of our physical and spiritual bodies are out of harmony, it can cause disease. Sound healing gently massages the molecules back into the right places, clearing blockages and restoring harmony. Ancient healing systems such as Chinese medicine and Indian Ayurveda associate specific musical notes with subtle energy systems of the body, such as in yoga where particular notes of music correspond to each of the seven chakras. In Tibet, priests have long used bells and bowls over and around the body to tune and clear the energy centres. Chimes and tuning forks are other tools that have been used to heal not only the body but the energy in a room as well.

Knowing that sound has the power to heal, we should also try to remember that sounds from modern life can have a negative effect. Choosing silence over discord may help us maintain a state of equilibrium. As we seek soothing and harmonizing sounds to surround us, we may be doing more than creating a balm for the noise of the world. We may actually be performing an act of self-healing that connects us with one of the most basic vibrations of the universe. Take time to tune into the healing sounds of the universe

Namaste

Put on your birthday suit...

Finding time to be as naked as the day you were born can awaken feelings of contentment, freedom, and self-love.

For most of us, it is probably difficult to remember the last time we were comfortably naked for a period of time longer than 20 minutes or so. Many of us are only naked for the length of time it takes us to shower or bathe. We quickly dry off and put our clothes or pyjamas on, without taking even a moment to enjoy the feeling of the air against our bare skin. Most of us learned that this was the way to do things from a young age, and we may not have been exposed to another way of thinking, but many cultures regard nudity as completely acceptable, even in somewhat public settings. If you have ever had the good fortune to assimilate yourself to this way of doing things, you may have found the experience liberating enough to allow it to influence the rest of your life.

Perhaps you swam topless in Tahiti or took a sauna in Sweden or Finland. In many American cities, you can find the experience of non self-conscious nudity in a Russian or Korean spa. You may have noticed the lack of vanity in people who are comfortable with their naked bodies. Old ladies and young girls sit side by side, seemingly without concern for how they appear. We see that it is not necessary to hide our imperfections; from cellulite to wrinkles, all is accepted with equilibrium. We can see the beauty and naturalness of our different bodies, accepting ourselves as just right, just as we are. Being naked in front of children can be discussed with your spouse and a plan developed for your family. Children have their way of letting you know when they are ready for a clothes-only family.

If this sounds appealing, you might try carving out some time in your day in which you let yourself be naked. You could delay dressing for 10 minutes after your shower, gradually increasing the time to 20 minutes or half an hour. You might also want to try sleeping naked, a sensual delight that is especially wonderful in hot summer months. If you have a private garden, a naked sunbath might be just the thing. Whatever your choice, finding time to be as naked as the day you were born can awaken feelings of contentment, freedom, and self-love.   

 

 

Everyday Teachers

Situations in our lives teach us what we need to learn

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Many of us long to find a spiritual teacher or guru. We may feel unsure of how to practice our spirituality without one, or we may long for someone who has attained a higher level of insight to lead the way for us. Some of us have been looking for years to no avail and feel frustrated and even lost. The good news is that the greatest teacher you could ever want is always with you that is your life. 

The people and situations we encounter every day have much to teach us when we are open to receiving their wisdom. Often we don’t recognize our teachers because they may not look or act like our idea of a guru, yet they may embody great wisdom. In addition, some people teach us by showing us what we don’t want to do. All the situations in our lives, from the insignificant to the major, conspire to teach us exactly what we need to be learning at any given time. Patience, compassion, perseverance, honesty, letting go -- all these are covered in the classroom of the teacher that is your life. 

We can help ourselves to remember this perfect teacher each day with a few simple words. Each morning we might find a moment to say, “I acknowledge and honour the teacher that is my life. May I be wise enough to recognize the teachers and lessons that I encounter today, and may I be open to receiving their wisdom.” We might also take some time each day to consider what our lives are trying to teach us at this time. 

 A difficult phase in your relationship with your child may be teaching you to let go. The homeless person you see every day may be showing you the boundaries of your compassion and generosity. A spate of lost items may be asking you to be more present to physical reality. Trust your intuition on the nature of the lesson at hand, work at your own pace, and ask as many questions as you want. Your life has all the answers.  

 

 

Putting People on a Pedestal

 

 

 

When you put somebody on a pedestal, it is giving away your power and saying you are not good enough.

When we fall in love with someone or make a new friend, we sometimes see that person in a glowing light. Their good qualities dominate the foreground of our perception and their negative qualities. They just don’t seem to have any. This temporary state of grace is commonly known as putting someone on a pedestal. Often times we put spiritual leaders and our gurus on pedestals. We have all done this to someone at one time or another, and as long as we remember that no one is actually “perfect,” the pedestal phase of a relationship can be enjoyed for what it is -- a phase. It’s when we actually believe our own projection that troubles arise. 

Everyone has problems, flaws, and blind spots, just as we do. When we entertain the illusion that someone is perfect, we don’t allow them room to be human, so when they make an error in judgment or act in contradiction to our idea of perfection, we become disillusioned. We may get angry or distance ourselves in response. In the end, they are not to blame for the fact that we idealized them. Granted, they may have enjoyed seeing themselves as perfect through our eyes, but we are the ones who chose to believe an illusion. If you go through this process enough times, you learn that no one is perfect. We are all a combination of divine and human qualities and we all struggle. When we treat the people we love with this awareness, we actually allow for a much greater intimacy than when we held them aloft on an airy throne. The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is. 

We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. In life, there are no pedestals -- we are all walking on the same ground together. When we realize this, we can own our own divinity and our humanity. This is the key to balance and wholeness within ourselves and our relationships.