Putting People on a Pedestal

 

 

 

When you put somebody on a pedestal, it is giving away your power and saying you are not good enough.

When we fall in love with someone or make a new friend, we sometimes see that person in a glowing light. Their good qualities dominate the foreground of our perception and their negative qualities. They just don’t seem to have any. This temporary state of grace is commonly known as putting someone on a pedestal. Often times we put spiritual leaders and our gurus on pedestals. We have all done this to someone at one time or another, and as long as we remember that no one is actually “perfect,” the pedestal phase of a relationship can be enjoyed for what it is -- a phase. It’s when we actually believe our own projection that troubles arise. 

Everyone has problems, flaws, and blind spots, just as we do. When we entertain the illusion that someone is perfect, we don’t allow them room to be human, so when they make an error in judgment or act in contradiction to our idea of perfection, we become disillusioned. We may get angry or distance ourselves in response. In the end, they are not to blame for the fact that we idealized them. Granted, they may have enjoyed seeing themselves as perfect through our eyes, but we are the ones who chose to believe an illusion. If you go through this process enough times, you learn that no one is perfect. We are all a combination of divine and human qualities and we all struggle. When we treat the people we love with this awareness, we actually allow for a much greater intimacy than when we held them aloft on an airy throne. The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is. 

We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. In life, there are no pedestals -- we are all walking on the same ground together. When we realize this, we can own our own divinity and our humanity. This is the key to balance and wholeness within ourselves and our relationships.   

 

Serving Your Community

 

Photo by Bepe Plantaia

Being of service to our community is part of being a good citizen of the planet earth.

To live harmoniously, we need to be supportive and helpful to all people, creatures, and plant life that share this earth with us. While “being of service” is part of being a good citizen of the world, it also feels good to help others. When we do something for others in service, without the expectation of anything in return, we are turning our actions into offerings.  

There are many ways to be of service to our community. There are the obvious and much needed volunteer opportunities, such as serving Thanksgiving dinner at a shelter, mentoring our youth, or cleaning up a beach. Then, there is the kind of service that we may not even think of as being acts of service. Learning a new language (perhaps sign language) so that you can talk to more people is a way to reach out to others. Inviting someone who isn’t motivated enough to exercise on their own to join you on your daily walk is a way to give of yourself. Sharing flowers or vegetables from your garden, organizing a poetry reading, offering to babysit for a busy parent, or donating pet food to an animal shelter all are simple ways to offer your services to your community.

There are many ways that you can serve the world. Imagine the impact we would have on the environment if we picked up one piece of trash off the street everyday and chose not to drive our car once a week. Even gardening tactics such as throwing wildflower seeds onto a vacant lot can brighten the lives of others -- including the lives of birds and insects. Everyday, you can do something to make this world a better place. During meditation, ask for guidance on what you can do to be of service. This can be a wonderful way to start your day. Smiling at a stranger who looks down in the dumps or teaching your neighbourhood kids how to whistle will impact someone’s day or even their life. Giving of yourself is the best gift that you can give.  

 

 

Supporters

 

                                      Ugly MC BBQ  Photo: Robert Lindstedt

Just as there are people that support us, we are a supporter to many people, extending the cycle and giving back.

 Behind each of us stands at least one supporter. This was once thought to be the spouse who ran the home while leaving the other spouse free to work. While this is still one valid scenario, most of us will find that we have other kinds of supporters in our lives. In some cases, our supporters are the people whose help allows us to do the things we're best at, see to our obligations, or pursue or dreams. In other cases, our support may come from the people who are there to help us through life's challenges by offering us their strength and bolstering our spirit.

Our support may come from our families and friends or from the people we hire--nannies, assistants, gardeners, healers, therapists, and advisors. Our supporters may be the mentors who help us express ourselves by listening to us as we share our thoughts and feelings. Our supporter can be the person sitting next to us at a networking meeting or the teacher from our childhood whose words still resonate in our minds. We have always had supporters around us whether we noticed them or not. No matter where the support comes from, few of us can make it through life without assistance. 

As we take the time to acknowledge everyone that has ever supported us, we can't help but feel grateful. Understanding our place in our human support system helps us see that just as there are people that support us, we are a supporter to many people. By gratefully accepting the expertise and assistance of our supporters, we can consciously and more easily build a life that we love. Thanks to our staff, groups, friends, and loved ones for all their support. We all need each other's support to thrive in this world. 

 

 

 

 

The Sun Is Always Shining

 

 

 

If darkness has fallen, know that the Sun is shining at this very moment, somewhere not too far away.

There are times when gloom or darkness causes us to momentarily lose sight of the light. Although it is at these times when the thought of the sun can help us. Its warm, glowing rays brighten even our thoughts, and it's good to remember that despite appearances the sun is shining right now. We may not be able to see it at this very moment, but if clouds block our view, they are only filtering the sun's light temporarily. If darkness has fallen, we know that the sun is still shining at this very moment somewhere not too far away, and it's only a matter of time before it will shine on us again. 

When we remember that the sun is still shining, we know that things are still in motion in the universe. Even if life feels like it is at a standstill, sometimes all we need to do is have faith and wait for the time when everything is in its perfect place. Or we can we can choose to follow the cues of the sun and continue doing our work and shining our light, even when we can't yet see results. In doing so we exercise our patience, making sure we are prepared when opportunity knocks and all other elements are in their right and perfect places. 

The sun also reminds us that our own shining truth is never extinguished. Our light shines within us at all times, no matter what else occurs around us. Though the sun gives us daily proof of its existence, sometimes our belief in our own light requires more time. If we think back, however, we can find moments when it showed itself and trust that we will see it again. Like the sun, our light is the energy that connects us to the movements of the universe and the cycles of life and is present at all times, whether we feel its glow or not. 

Savage Warrior Wisdom

Associate with the warriors who remind you of who you really are!

Who you associate with matters. Most people believe that they can associate with anyone they want and it will have no affect on them at all. This is a miscalculation.

The people you associate with have an affect on you, even if you don't realize it. The affect may be gradual, and you may not even notice it, but other people will see the change in you. After a while, you will be able to look back and see how you have changed, either for better or for worse.

When you associate with quality people of character, they raise you up. Those who are more skilled than you, push you to be better; those who have honed their character, help you to become a better person.

The opposite is also true. If you associate with people of low character, you will find that you gradually allow your morals and values to slide backwards. This doesn't happen all at once, so you will not notice until you have already changed for the worse.

If you hang around with people who spend their time drinking, partying, and not taking care of themselves, sooner or later you will start to skip your training, your studies, and other important things in order to fit in with the crowd. I have seen it many times.

Always associate with people who push you to be a better person, who push you to train harder and to push for your goals. Warriors don't care to hang around with meth heads; they generally hang out with other warriors. Most people like to hang out with other people with whom they have things in common.

If you are trying to improve your life, your martial arts skills, or your character, associate with people are have their life in order, who take care of themselves, and are people of character, honor, and integrity. These people will lift you up and make you want to be better. They will remind of you who you are and who you want to be.

Be careful concerning who you associate with and what kind of friends you make. Your friends will either lift you up and make you better, or bring you down to their level. The choice is yours. Choose wisely! 

Gifts from the Universe

                                                                               

If we trust in a universe that has a higher purpose, then family members are in our lives for a good reason.

Families can contain a fascinating grouping of personalities. Despite the potential for so many to have similar traits, there are many different ways to express them. As people marry into families and have children, even more personalities enter the picture. There may be some people that we would not choose to be related to, but that's what friends are for. 

If we trust in a universe that has a higher purpose for everything, then we must believe that family members are in our lives for a good reason. These reasons may be easy to see and appreciate with some, but others may offer us a challenge. With those, we can look for something we can learn or perhaps teach. In the modern world where everyone seeks to be individuals, many move far away from their families in an attempt to escape them. But when we've successfully built a world around us that requires no one's help, our families are the people who are still attached to us. We can still choose whether or not to honour the family ties, and how to treat each other, but the fact remains that we are energetically tied to our families. 

Our families help us see where we have come from so that we may more clearly decide where we'd like to go. If we can learn to accept our families for who they are, then we go out into the world armed with the ability to deal with anyone. Some families are better than others at preparing us for the world. What we learn from our families, even if they are simply blank spots on our family trees, becomes the basis of our identities as individuals. Rather than denying our connections, we can choose to accept their presence in our lives. 

 

Acceptance does not mean we have to like them; we simply acknowledge that we are connected to them and honour that connection for like it or not, there is a reason. When we can embrace all that they bring into our experience, we may be grateful for all we have learned from them and have to learn, while we experience everything that comes with family fully and completely. 

 

 

The Wonderment Of Life

 

 

Image by Robert Lindsted

 

Stopping to feel a moment of gratitude for the many small 

miracles of life on earth, can be what you need to shift your day.

 

 Most of us begin our days with a continuous list of things we need to do to keep our lives running smoothly, but we rarely take time to note all the things we don't need to do. For example, we don't need to figure out how to breathe. We don't need to find a way to make sure the earth continues to revolve around the sun. We don't need to concentrate to ensure that our heart beats and our cells regenerate. All of these things, and many more, take care of themselves without our having to think or do anything at all. This is the miracle of life on earth. 

Beyond the wonder of the natural world, we have the wonder of human-created conditions such as indoor plumbing, electricity, automobiles, airplanes, telephones, and the Internet to name a few. Someone living just a hundred years ago would be overwhelmed by the ease with which we can communicate with people all over the world. Every day, millions of us jump on airplanes and fly to distant locations in a matter of hours. If we have access to a computer, we can read obscure information about any subject, free of charge, at any time of the day or night. And yet, it's only when one of these miraculous inventions fails that we notice it at all. 

When you wake up tomorrow, take time to notice how many things are running smoothly, how many small miracles compose your day. If you wear glasses or contact lenses, as you put them on, take a moment to appreciate the fact that without them, you would be unable to see. Your life would be entirely different if someone hadn't invented corrective lenses. As you take in your world, you might feel a moment of gratitude for the basic fact that, once again, the sun has risen to illuminate the abundant earth, and the earth's gravitational field holds you and all that you hold dear in a tight, life-affirming embrace.